As a young man I was taught, and have heard repeated recently in General Conference, that God put sexual urges in us (particularly men) to impel us towards making the family commitments that we otherwise wouldn't because we are naturally lazy and selfish (again, especially men).
I reject that idea. The sexual urge is a biological strategy for procreation which naturally leads to promiscuity. Social restraints are what have always channeled the sexual urge towards stable families (at least as we know them in western society), as furnaces, forges and engines make fire useful to civilization. But this also means that, in religious cultures that reject the double standard, the license to have sex has been reserved as a reward for good behavior for both sexes. Young people hold out and save themselves for the hope of that reward, that wonderful night when their dreams will supposedly come true, that sudden switch from no to yes, from “second only to murder” to “sacrament.”
Earthly societies have had sexual reward systems in place for a very long time. Anyone who awakens to see these as regrettable relics of a less enlightened past (like the Law of Moses as recorded in our Old Testament) and decides to dismantle or at least disregard them will have to find other bases for marriage, which is exactly what The World has been working on slowly throughout the industrial and sexual revolutions. As usual, the Church follows along at a lag, now preaching about equal partnership and mutual respect as God's law, as if we had the monopoly on it all along.
Respect doesn't tolerate coercion, manipulation, or begging. And if it were not for sex as we know it, respectful marriages would be much easier to build and maintain. As it is, human beings have these strong urges with wills of their own, and within the Church not only is marriage the only authorized outlet for them, but we are taught that these reckless urges in fact come from God with the purpose of uniting us in marriage. The results I think are hard to admit for those who live by obedience to every authority that seems legit.
I reject that idea. The sexual urge is a biological strategy for procreation which naturally leads to promiscuity. Social restraints are what have always channeled the sexual urge towards stable families (at least as we know them in western society), as furnaces, forges and engines make fire useful to civilization. But this also means that, in religious cultures that reject the double standard, the license to have sex has been reserved as a reward for good behavior for both sexes. Young people hold out and save themselves for the hope of that reward, that wonderful night when their dreams will supposedly come true, that sudden switch from no to yes, from “second only to murder” to “sacrament.”
Earthly societies have had sexual reward systems in place for a very long time. Anyone who awakens to see these as regrettable relics of a less enlightened past (like the Law of Moses as recorded in our Old Testament) and decides to dismantle or at least disregard them will have to find other bases for marriage, which is exactly what The World has been working on slowly throughout the industrial and sexual revolutions. As usual, the Church follows along at a lag, now preaching about equal partnership and mutual respect as God's law, as if we had the monopoly on it all along.
Respect doesn't tolerate coercion, manipulation, or begging. And if it were not for sex as we know it, respectful marriages would be much easier to build and maintain. As it is, human beings have these strong urges with wills of their own, and within the Church not only is marriage the only authorized outlet for them, but we are taught that these reckless urges in fact come from God with the purpose of uniting us in marriage. The results I think are hard to admit for those who live by obedience to every authority that seems legit.